the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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