i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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