I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
