She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
