You made me cry and you don't even care
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
