shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
