Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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