Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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