i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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