She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
