people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Green mimosas i think yes
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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