You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
