after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
