I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
