So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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