I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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