I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We have started to decorate penises.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
