I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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