Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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