its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
