I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
