my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
