You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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