Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
