Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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