YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
