i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's always time for handjobs
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
