yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dick very happy bro
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
