His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I looked at my own cervix.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
