you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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