i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
