His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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