Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
