So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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