So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
