What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
