Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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