I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
