I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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