Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
