remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
