maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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