I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize