Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
