He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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