no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
