if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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