Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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