Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want to be your penis for a week.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
