i wish my penis had a tongue
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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