I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
