Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Damn victory sex feels great
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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