"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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