did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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