You're my little dorito
Apparently you make a good broom.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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