Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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