we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize