so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
