We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
