This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
