i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize