gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently you make a good broom.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
