i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
