I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
