Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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