i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize