but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
