ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
