Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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