Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
