YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
