Where are you?
In a non slutty way
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
