I don't think brook has ever known best
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh god it's open bar.
please don't ironically join a cult
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