I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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