Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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